words kill, words give life

Vampire Ex

Posted in art, etc., diary by Kaitlin on October 6, 2009


My friend recently dumped her boy-toy. From our knowledge of The Lost Boys and Twilight,  we concluded he was a vampire. So that you can avoid the misfortune of dating an undead blood-sucker, I have listed warning signs below.


If he’s very strong, fast and skilled at combat, without the typical  jock attitude,

if he uses old fashioned phrases and SAT words in everyday conversation,

if he hasn’t really changed even though you’ve known him for years,

if he has a European accent, but he says he’s from South Carolina,

if you had to invite him to come through the door,


if he likes taking risks, but doesn’t want you to,

if spending money means nothing to him,

if his eyes change colors with his mood,

if he likes biting your arms and neck,

or if he’s pale and avoids the sun,

then he’s probably a vampire. Break it off quickly, or he’ll protect (stalk) you forever. The only cure for unwanted attention from a vamp is to befriend a werewolf. I don’t know any right now, but when I find one, I’ll let you know.

These marvelous photos are by Vicky. Thanks, ducks!


3 Responses

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  1. Caila Brown said, on October 6, 2009 at 9:07 pm

    Definitely a vampire…

  2. Bridge said, on October 6, 2009 at 9:36 pm

    ah hahaha! thanks for the warning signs!

    • Kaitlin said, on October 7, 2009 at 10:08 am

      Of course! We must all be prepared for the coming plague of Vampirism.

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